I'm very happy with how the Pitch went today, I feel like I presented better than I have done on previous projects. The majority of my feedback seemed to be about adding more science and possibly recalibrating my target audience. Personally, I don't feel that my animation is 'too scary' for a mass market but maybe the idea of this monster being within your veins should be a 13+ sort of age range.
I also initially received feedback regarding the ending of my animation being too 'doom and gloom' however, after discussing this more it's become clear that it technically can't have a happy ending due to how bacteria adapt. Even with a strong antibiotic, some bacteria will survive and adapt to resist...even brand new antibiotics have bacteria that are resistant. Because of this, the ending of my animation will stay relatively the same but maybe have more emphasis on being careful with the use of antibiotics.
The main thing I feel I need to focus on is adding in extra science which I think will be relatively easy for me to do. I feel even if I just change my narrator from being Quint inspired to Hooper (from Jaws) it'll improve. In other words, by having someone who is more of a scientist instead of a rough sailor the animation will have to include more science instead of the metaphor. Even changing little things such as "...and share with each other..." to something like "and they share DNA with each other" can have a massive impact on the science part of my animation.
I think by tweaking the narrator's role and dropping in more scientific terms will sort out the problems...I hope to rewrite a script before the end of term so I can focus on trying to get production art, orthographs, and maybe some maya things moving along. I'll look more into voice actors, and also change the title from "The Leviathan" to just "Leviathan" .